The Slow Poisoner
Interview by Norma Jeane Gonzalez
Snake-oil salesman, one-man-band, writer, artist and overall spooky bad-ass. These are just some of the hats that the Slow Poisoner AKA Andrew Goldfarb wears. A little disturbing to think there is a man walking around San Francisco, California with so many morbid thoughts in his head, yet comforting to know he has found an outlet through music and art.
What started off as a 5 piece band called The Slow Poisoners, who released 3 albums over a span of 10 years, culminated into a one-man band macabre experience and a name change to The Slow Poisoner. The Slow Poisoner will visit your city, unleash his music on you, sell you a magic elixir that can cure it ALL and then slowly fade back into the darkness.
Music is not the only passion for the Slow Poisoner. Ogner Stump’s 100 Sorrows, a comic slash novel, can be found on his website along with other spellbinding tales of swamps, monsters and mishaps.
Currently, the Slow Poisoner has 2 CD’s of musical collections. Roadside Altar includes songs such as The Hex, Run Rooster Run and the ever popular Bad Bungalow which I hear is based on a true story. The other CD, Fatal Floral Phonograph, provides 4 songs of “rural paranoia”
You can search the darkest corners of the world (or in this case San Francisco, CA) in search of this mysterious man. Or we can make it easier for you by providing his MySpace address and website. www.myspace.com/slowpoisoner and www.theslowpoisoner.com/
A closer look into his madness can be found in the interview provided.
Are most of your songs autobiographical?
Yes, all of them are 100% true, and if what I sing about didn’t happen to me directly, than it happened to someone I know or have met. For example, “The Eye Hand of the Carolinas” is about a pair of conjoined twins that don’t get along and they try to strangle each other to death in a swamp. While fighting they witness an apparition rise up from the muck - a man in a suit but with a giant hand where his head should be (with an eyeball in its palm). While I can’t claim to have seen this myself, I did hear about it firsthand while I was on tour in Cayce, South Carolina, from the nephew of one of the twins.
What led you to becoming a Slow Poisoner?
I was reading a book called “A Memoir Of Extraordinary Public Delusions and the Madness of Crowds,” written by Charles Mackay in 1841, and there was a chapter called “The Slow Poisoners,” about a poisoning fad that hit France in the eighteenth century. It was mostly wives doing away with husbands by adding something extra to their supper every night until the arsenic finally did its trick. This was before divorce was acceptable. I thought it would make a good name for a music act, and would also serve as a philosophy to approaching the music business – I would slowly and steadily spread weirdness where I can, a little bit at a time.
Why a one man band? Ever think about adding additional poisoners again?
Well, I started out as a quintet, and over the course of ten years the members slowly disappeared and I just didn’t bother to replace them, and it kept sounding better. There were two cellos at first – kind of European sounding, before I switched from drinking absinthe to drinking whiskey. It got down to a duo for a long time, but once I heard Hasil Adkins (a West Virginian one man band of the 50’s) I knew I had to purify myself in a fire of simplicity. So I kicked out the last man and scratched the “s” off all the Slow Poisoners merchandise. I can’t see ever adding additional members again, especially now that I tour regularly, as my travel habits are singular in nature. I like to sleep three hours at night and two hours in mid-day, and I only dine at Waffle House.
What are you listening to right now?
“The Old Lamplighter Live at the Norwood Inn.” He’s an 84-year old karaoke singer. Deke Dickerson gave me the CD the other night, saying he had some sort of involvement with it but he wouldn’t tell me exactly how or why. On the back it says: “Attractive Senior ladies! If you hate hippies and Un-American activities, join the “Old Lamplighter Fan Club.”
Who/What influences you?
I have an autistic guinea pig, and he’s really obsessed with a bell that hangs inside his cage. He’s up all night clanging out these crazy rhythms with it; he clenches it in his teeth and shakes his head for hours on end. So that has a big influence on the music I write, especially the kick drum patterns that I employ.
What can people expect during your LIVE shows?
I perform with a bass drum and electric guitar, and the drum has sleigh bells attached to give it a little jingle. I also bring along painted cardboard signs that illustrate the title of each song; that way, if you don’t like music, there’s still something of interest for you. I also set off a very small explosion on occasion, though the last time I did I got a hideous burn on my hand. Haunted George is partially to blame for that, ‘cause while I was testing out the pyrotechnics backstage he asked if I ever got blisters on my fingers. I said no, ‘cause I never had, but then that night of course I did. Then again, I was trying out a new mixture made of gunpowder and sequins – I wanted a sparkly effect – so that might be to blame. Music-wise, I describe myself as a cross between David Bowie and Johnny Cash.
Can your elixir cure my man troubles?
Oh yes. My tonic is good for all aches of the heart, as well as being effective in the treatment of Consumption, Gout, Neuralgia, Wandering Limbs, Stoutness, Onanism, Elephantiasis, Cholera, Barnacles, Boils, The Fits, Excessive Abscesses, Necrosis, Lavender Fever, General Wasting and Disinterested Bladder.
In addition, I’ve recently developed a recipe for an absolutely infallible love potion. This special mixture, which I provide free of charge, will make any man your absolutely devoted slave. With every breath he will think only of you, and won’t bear to be parted from you for even a second. Then, later on, I can sell you an antidote for $100 that will murder him without a trace.
Why can’t Ogner catch a break?
Well, as is implied in the title – Ogner Stump’s One Thousand Sorrows – this is my attempt to document every ill of the modern age, using Ogner Stump as my everyman protagonist. My chief motive was to come up with a project that would take me 70 years to finish, so that I would never have to wonder what to do with my life. I’ve just finished Sorrow number 88, so I’m right on schedule. I should finish the thousandth when I’m 100 years old, on my deathbed. The final Sorrow, of course, is Death.
Your art is awesome! Where can we see more of it?
I’ve got comics at www.ognerstump.com and I’ve also got flyers and album art at www.theslowpoisoner.com. Thanks for the compliment!
Is there another SP album in the works?
Yes, I’ll start recording it this spring in Portland; it’s going to be called “Magic Casket.” I’ve already got all the song titles, I just need to write the songs. So far I’ve got “The Thundering Fists of the Lord,” “Wood Full O’ Witches,” “Spastic Maggot,” and nine more.
I like to get rid of my current CD before pressing a new one, so as a special offer to Swampland readers, anyone who sends an e-mail to “free@theslowpoisoner.com” with their postal address will receive a copy of my album “Roadside Altar.”
Are there any other musicians you are into?
I like ‘em all, all music is good. The first acts that pop to mind are (in alphabetical order) Attic Ted, The Dagons, Haunted George, Warren Jackson Hearne and his Merrie Murdre of Gloomadeers, One Man Banjo, Palace Family Steak House, Nathan Payne, the Pine Hill Haints, Ragwater Revue, Esmerelda Strange, the Tarmints, Warren Teagarden and the Voodoo Organist.
Who will make sure your grave is kept clean?
The whispering winds and weeping willows will wipe my tombstone white…
The Slow Poisoner's Myspace
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